Archive for March, 2000
How to Win an Oscar
erin.dailey - Mar 26th, 2000
"You like me! You really like me!" Shut the fuck up, Sally Field. We don’t like you. We never liked you. The geriatric members of the monopoly we know as "The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences" don’t even like you. You won for one simple reason: You’d never fucking won before. It’s one [...]
Read More..>>A Day in the Life of Hell
erin.dailey - Mar 12th, 2000
6:30 – Startled awake by terrifying sounds of B96 semi-quasi-hip-hop disco music. Fling hand at dodgy Walgreens-purchased alarm clock in blind, sleep-droned attempt to end the pain by smacking snooze button. 6:39 – Pick up shit-for-brains instrument of morning Brittney Spears wake-up torture and throw it against wall. 6:48 – Stumble out of bed, trip [...]
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